Accurate? Or just a coincidence

A friend who is learning "mian xiang", which is fortune telling based on facial, told me this, "Things might not go your way, especially when you are around the age of  25. You need to be extremely hardworking in order to make it through."

Well, it seems to gradually come true as the days passed in 2006. I am 25 this year anyway.

I am neither a skeptic nor a true believer of fortune telling. However, majority of whatever he described about me and incidents that happened in the past were quite accurate. It seems that it might not only be a coincidence.  My friend did tell me that whatever i am doing now may not be my career.

I am currently suffering from a dilemna. A dilemna whether to "focus on my outcome", a work which i been going forward, or to leave.

It doesnt really matter whom or how many people i talk to, because i know the final decision still lies on me. Anyway, i do appreciate those who lend a listening ear to me.

"What to do?"

"What can i do?"

"What should i do?"

These questions have been ringing in my mind even now when i am typing. I am still hunting for the answers.

I am loss....

I have researches to do, camps to plan, but i just cannot get my mind to focus on it. Everytime i want to get back to work, a voice would appear in my head asking if its worth the effort.

Perhaps i should go back to study.

Part time or full time? What about the cost? Which course to study? Where should i work in the future? Can i afford to quit if i still want to make a come back in the company? Can i manage the studies after a couple of years away from textbooks? What about my parents? When can they retire?

I dont know.... i really dont know.

Lost......

Standing right in the middle of a junctions, no knowing which direction to move. Choices have consequences. Which path to take would defintately results in different results. However, the challenge lies in the decision whether to plan for the alternate route of retreat, or to believe in the goal and focus all the energy in weilding the sword and fight till the end of the battle. The warrior is at a loss.

Day light falls, night arrives. The darkness was never so intimidating before. The swaying of the trees and the rustling of the bushes seems to signal that the dangers are approaching. The pain from the injury on the back reminds him of the incident which his so call companion stab him. However, the agony does not come from the physical injury, but from the inside. Staring hard, trying to look into the pitch black surrounding, the injured and exhausted warrior can only allow the darkness to slowly consume him, totally strandard, feeling a sense of vulnurability.

Perhaps this is a test for the warrior, a test of his skills which he thought he had mastered, a test of his determination, a test of his faith.

If there is really the warrior of light, or even the hero within oneself, please show up and provide guidance for the helpless warrior. Please show up to provide the ray of light which he can follow, which can get him back to continue on his route once again...

Reality

It takes courage to look beyond the perceived truth, cos at times, it do hurt to face the reality.

It is so disheartening to learn that majority of the people in the world wear a facade that we can no longer judge if a smile is genuine or if there is a dagger hidden behind their back, waiting for the right moment to stab right into the vital spot that could paralyze you forever.  

Life is a journey full of love, hate and betrayal. These are what make up the substances of the life. However, human being tends to choose the easier route. They would prefer to escape from the reality in life and live in their own utopian society till the day where they are being forced to face it.

However, the fact is most of the people will have to come face to face with the reality, so why not just be brave and face it, no matter if its execrable or not.

Escaping from reality is the fear of facing problems. However, it is being said that every problem will have a solution, its just a matter of time.

Life

Newpaper reports accidents almost daily. Ranging from senior citizens to even infants. Its is really heart breaking and i do believe that none of the victims wanted the incidents to happen.

Since life is so fragile, why are there still people thinking of commiting sucide?

Are there really problems that could not be solved? Or could it be due to the lack of solutions to solve the problems, or could it be as simple as, no one bothers about them and they are just sick of living.

My friend, H had a friend whom she do not really know, messaging her that she is sick of living and had many attempts in committing suicide and it has been going on for a quite sometime. She would always message H to tell her how many pills she had taken and what are the other methods to die. The first question that flash across my mind was,"why?". After having a conversation with H, i get to understand that this girl(yes, the friend is a female) was an introvert. She hardly talk to any one in school, and she always walks facing the floor. (From my knowledge, this can be a sign of low self esteem, unless she is always looking for something or she got a heavy brain?) Though she studied hard for her examinations, but could not achieved the desired results. She blame herself for being stupid and does not want to be a burden to the family. Her dad would scold her and she thinks that nobody likes her. Its all this negative experiences that perpetuates her in having the thoughts of committing suicide every now and than and no words could curbed her feelings. She accused the whole world for getting her into this devastating state, her parents included. 

I had a discussion with Amin (lead trainer in Adam khoo) and Stuart (master trainer in Adam khoo) regarding this issue. What stuart shared with me is that this girl had blinded herself from the positive side of the world. She had miss out the fact that H is still in contact with her and is concern about her, she had miss out the fact that are people who are more unfortunate than her.

I just had a talk with Amin. He was saying that H should wash her hands off this issue as this might get her into trouble if anything is to happen to the girl. However H can help her by letting the teacher or the parents know about the issue. Though we might be betraying the trust of the girl as she had initally indicated that she did not want the teachers and parents to know, however, i believe its the best solution.

If there is a day when you felt sad, why not just take a deep breath first? The fact that we are breathing shows that there are hopes for tomorrow isn't it?

Think of all the times where you really enjoyed and this will definately cheer you up and propel you forward towards a better day.

Life is a journey, where there will be sweet, and bitter times. The more different feelings we encounter, the more we will live our life and appreciate it. Each of us is only living once, isn't it? 

*At times, we have to be Cruel, to be Kind.

Another month without camp. So, where is the problem? Izit it really on the proposals? Yes, i do belive in "value for money". If the proposals are good, people will pay.But, is it really true? The rejections we had from all the schools which we bid for had the same reasons- Too expensive. Thats what i see from here. Why are we even thinking of selling as premium product when we are coming into a market where they are already so many players? There are experience companies charging a whole lot lower than us, who are we to compete with them based on experience? Just because we had that branding? Oh pls, Can they just be more realistic? Cant they go for lower rates, than increase it over the period of time when we got a some reputation in this line and a fair share of the Pie? Thats what adam did initally also isint it? Sell at lower rate initally. When it gets more heard locally. slowly increase the price slightly. Even he is doing it as a start up, why are we rushing into things?

The more equipment you invest in, the more i fear. Not that i have no confident or wat. I can do my part, which is to research on activities and run camps, but if there is no camps, where is my future? How long can i hold on? I really have no idea man. If there is nothing you all can do about it, pls send me to ILP than. At least in ILP, things are more or less standardize and its closer to my goal.

I will be going for POE tomorrow. Putting alot of hope in the course to upgrade my self. JIa YOU ba! I believe things will get better!

I CANNOT GIVE UP,

BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BE A TRAINER!!!!

TAKE THE CHALLANGE AND OVERCOME IT AND PROVE TO YOUR SELF!

jeff